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Writer's pictureJudy T

We could learn from this.

I will veer slightly off Kdramas for a moment to share something about Korea that I have learned over the past few months. As some of you may know a 25 year old Kpop idol recently died, perhaps by suicide. I have been struck by how his band mates, friends, and family have remembered him. Oftentimes they write a lengthy and heartfelt letter to the deceased talking about how much they loved them and will miss them. In the US, we might hug at the funeral or lament our friend's death later but it is generally brief and rather perfunctory. In Korea they seem to pour their feelings into these messages and remembrances.... no holding back!


Furthermore the obvious and overt affection that Korean Men show for each other is noticeably different than Guy Friends in the US. It's not unusual to see Korean men reaching out to grasp each other's hands, sitting with their arm around their friends, and generally showing affection towards one another.


I like this and find it incredibly endearing. When did American men become so uptight and physically rigid towards other men? (We could say the same thing about women friends too.) Why do we look askance at men who touch each other to show support or caring? I could tie all this back to Kdramas by also pointing out how common it is to see male Kdrama stars openly weeping. I tell anyone who will listen that Koreans know how to cry.


Mega Stars BTS (a famous Boy Band from Korea) are very comfortable showing their emotions. Apparently in Korea, bands typically live together in dorm-like settings for years while they train and develop their acts. Naturally you would form very tight friendships with your bandmates. BTS demonstrates their affection and friendship with each other constantly... providing moral support, good natured teasing, and physical affection both during performances and in everyday life. They also demonstrate this to their fans. While performing in England the band stopped singing to listen to thousands of fans who were singing along to their music... in Korean! I bet that made them feel pretty special!


We all could learn to be more empathetic, kinder, and loving to others. Who knows, it might improve the world!


Pat here. I recently did a deep dive into the world of K-pop, specifically Blackpink, the Uber popular girl group that just took Coachella by storm. As Judy described, they too spent years together studying and training to be the best female group in Korea, and they are just as seamless and professional as BTS. Their group consists of four young women, and only one grew up in Korea. She is Jisoo, who just starred in “Snowdrop”. Blackpink starred in a 2021 documentary that chronicles their lives before, during, and after their success. They even had a segment on “Car Pool Karaoke”! Their affection for each other is obvious. This isn’t to say this doesn’t happen with groups from other countries. We’re just trying to say how special it is that we see this affection in so many different Korean situations.






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Judy T
Judy T
Jul 12, 2023

Like Laura I've learned to really like BTS. It takes a while to get used to the lack of musical instruments with a band....and their higher vocal range.... but boy can they dance! I've read recently that when they put on a 2-2.5 hour show they don't have another band start for them; they spend the entire time on the stage. Their fitness level is incredible. Fun to watch & learn to like... just like Kdramas!

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Laura Christensen
Jul 12, 2023

My family thinks I’m crazy, but I love BTS. I’m so sad that they have to do their military service so can’t perform as a group for a while. I hope they still perform together after the mandatory service is finished for all of them.

They are so fun to watch.

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dvankirk0
Jul 07, 2023
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

It's odd, isn't it that male K-friends are not shy about public displays of physical affection, but in Kdramas the script requires them to barely touch the female characters. Note, 60-some years ago, The Fab Four ate, drank, and slept in the same hotel room while touring together. And, they openly showed brotherly love.

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dbootes50
Jul 07, 2023

Very interesting and another thing about Korea that I had no idea about. I wonder how the groups who live, eat and breathe together for years as youths do later in life when they're on their own. It certainly is a different way of doing things. Thanks again for opening my eyes to a very different culture.

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